Before I start, I would first like to say that the Sikh and non-Sikh males who walk the spiritual and Godly path and demonstrate and practice it in their everyday thoughts, words, and actions are not the ones I am speaking about in this article.
In the use of an analogy --- The Sikh and non-Sikh males I am referring to are the ones who blame the vehicle creators standing next to their beautifully created cars for causing males to look at cars and become filled with desire and wanton. Or, blame the skilled chefs, who creates visually wonderful gourmet dishes for causing males to drool and become gluttonous. And, gradually convince and brainwash others that the vehicle creators with their creations as well as the skilled chefs with their creations are the reasons for males feeling, thinking, and experiencing 'animalistic' temptations.
It is amazing the number of Sikhs, especially the males, who experience the urge to judge and call teenage, youth, and single females, Sikh and non-Sikh, horrible names just because these females want to dress in modern clothes as other females of their generation. Yet, these same horrible names are not spoken or written when males speak about teenage, youth, and single males who dress in modern clothes as other males of their generation. I have even witnessed women's clothing referred to as 'dirty clothes' (and, it had nothing to do with visible dust and dirt on the clothes). I have seen these males state the reason for their 'concern' is because they see every female as their sister or mother, which, in most cases, I honestly doubt is occurring, at least subconsciously.
So, due to my finally saying enough is enough, I decided to write about this issue. Why? Because Sikh males, as well as non-Sikh males, need to look closely at the scriptures and not judge Sikh and non-Sikh females regarding such matters. Why? Because, it is un-Godly to do such things. And, the Sikh religion, through the Sri or Adi Guru Granth Sahib (SGGS or AGGS) and the Shiromani Gurdwara Parbandhak Committee (SGPC), provides us with clear guidelines regarding the whats and the what nots.
To be honest, in my personal opinion, it would be quite nice to go out and see every Sikh dressed in their Salwaar Kameez (female pants outfit) and Kurta Pyjama (male pants outfit). Also, it would be wonderful to see turbans on both the Sikh females and males along with wearing their kirpans (tiny sword) and wearing their katcheras (special underwear), keshs (uncut hair), karas (bangle), and kanghas (tiny comb). Then, the matter of Sikh males wearing modern clothes while Sikh females wear the chunnis and traditional Indian pants outfit with no turbans would not be an issue. Why? Because we Sikhs would all be equally dressed in the same or similar clothes.
But, to be realistic, in our modern world, my pleasant fantasy of the majority of Sikhs dressing the same or similarly is far from reality.
Yet, I am quite sure there are many Sikh males with their own pleasant fantasy of seeing Sikh females following the below examples for Sikh female fashion:
She wears her kirpan pendant or kirpan.
Her katcheras are worn over her regular underwear due to her biological differences.
During the summer, she wears long skirts and dresses that flow over her legs. Though, the Salwaar Kameez is preferred. As for sleeveless blouses and tops as well as short pants or mid-length shorts, they are frowned upon and unacceptable, even if the weather is very hot.
Her wearing jeans and other types of modern pants are deemed unacceptable as well.
As for swimming in bathing suits, it is out-of-the-question, even though there are bathing suits similar to shorts (to cover the upper thigh) with the long skirt accessory. It is preferable by males for females to still wear their Salwaar Kameez or similar type of clothing for swimming. Can you imagine the males following their own rules for tradition by swimming in their long pants and t-shirts or Kurta Pyjamas?
As for the uncut hair (kesh), it is better to wear a turban as the Sikh males do, but many of the males prefer the chunni minus the turban.
She does not wear any make-up or jewelry.
She does not bleach-dye her hair to hide it. Though, she could go to a doctor for hormonal treatment for overly thick hair.
She, understandably, wears her kara (bangle).
She wears her kangha (comb) at all times, which is important
From what I have witnessed and observed, this is what many Sikh males prefer for Sikh females even though we have long since passed the year 2000, let alone the 1800s, even though most of these standards would not, and do not, appeal to or suffice for them (males) personally.
So, to be realistic, in our modern world, the Sikh males with their pleasant fantasy of the majority of Sikh females worldwide dressing daily in only Salwaar Kameez, or similar clothing, every single day is far from reality.
And, the realization that all the Sikhs, females and males, worldwide are not going to rise up tomorrow and dress the same or similarly, obviously leads to the conclusion that Sikh females are going to continue to dress in modern clothing suited to the time and environment they live in. This is especially true for teenagers, youths, and singles, whether they be female or male.
Since this is the case, the issue returns to the original topic of many Sikh males dressed in modern clothing judging females who do the same.
Okay --- Dressing according to the weather, other situations, and circumstances is fine. In the majority of countries, the issues of what females should wear or not wear ceased within the past few decades --- They may have to wear a headcovering, but outside of that, they are permitted to wear whatever they want. Even I dress comfortably and appropriately (just like my husband and son) depending on the weather, environment, and situation while wearing my turban and 5-Ks.
If it is hot outside, one should not (depending on the country) have to be covered from head to toes with fabric unless one wants to be. There are sensible clothes for both males and females during the summer. If one goes swimming, one must wear a bathing suit.
Most females do not dress inappropriately, whether religious or not. Just sit back one day in a public place and only count the appropriately dressed females --- Play the "Catch the Females Dressing Somewhat Appropriately" game; and, you'll find it is no different than the appropriately dressed males. Females should, need to, and must dress anyway they please just as males, especially in religions that promote and mandate equality and/or encourage males and females to dress appropriately.
If some males are having problems seeing females in pants, shorts, skirts, blouses, shirts, dresses, bathing suits, etc., then the issue is not with or within the females, but it is with and within those males, even if subconsciously. I would even suggest those males create an inner focus more on God, prayer, and scriptures --- Waheguru (Glorious God), the Naam (Spirit of God), the guidance of the Adi/Sri Guru Granth Sahib (Holy Scriptures), Simran (Constant remembrance of God), and deeper meditation.
For example, I once had my son enrolled in a Muslim preschool, because he was not treated well in the other parochial schools. Everyday I went to pick up my child; and, out of respect I covered my head (I did not know about Sikhism at the time). Yet, because it was summer, I always wore mid-thigh shorts and an extra large t-shirt. No one (male or female) ever had any problems with what I wore and was very friendly. But one day, while picking up my son, a man kept eyeing me and after a few minutes walked over and told me wearing shorts were wrong and to dress appropriately the next time. Actually, he scared me as he continued on. Finally, some other men noticing my fear, walked over and told me I was dressed okay and not to be concerned about what he said. See, the issue was with and within that man, himself --- It was not with or within those other men, the women, or me. And, because I was not a Muslim and feared my son would inadvertently learn inequality of the sexes along with other reasons, I removed him from the school. The man who approached me and caused me to experience fear did not represent the Muslim religion in a positive light. And, the Muslim religion also claims equality between the sexes as well. Of course, I realize what is written in the Koran does not back the equality claims. And, I experienced first-hand, from observing the other females I met and my own personal experience, this was untrue more often than not.
What does one think it looks like to seekers and other people when Sikhs, Bahais, and members of equality teaching religions (worldwide) emphasize in their speeches, writings, and guidelines the equality of males and females while most of the male members speak, think, and behave the opposite? And, this is, in actuality, many of the male members (direct and indirect role models to male (and female) children) refusing to actively demonstrate and practice the equality teachings at home, in private, in public, at the workplace, at the place of worship, etc.?
While taking courses in Women Studies at Arizona State University and the University of Texas as well as in graduate school, I learned a great deal about male and female behavior and interactions historically and culturally. See, it really doesn't matter if a particular cultural group mandates their females to wear clothing only revealing her eyes and toes,
or her face and ankles, or her head, arms, and lower legs, or her entire leg region and upper body. In practically every societal, cultural, and ethnic group, the males will still look at the revealed physical structure(s) or body parts of the females.
The males will look at her eyes and toes, face and legs, or whatever is mandated culturally and ethnically acceptable. In most cultures and ethnic groups, the patriarch mandates the dress codes, socially acceptable behaviors, religious beliefs, etc., especially regarding the females. That being the case, it doesn't matter how females dress, she will still be looked upon in a desiring and/or repugnant manner by the males in that particular society, community, city, and/or country.
And, this is even if the females were required and mandated to daily wear huge head to neck masks with dark eye coverings, loose flowing robes covering everything, loose-fitting long gloves, and oversized leg-to-thigh boots. The males would still resort to using their imaginations.
Remember, those societal creations and systems listed below were not created by matriarchs:
. Brothals,
. Female (and male) prostitution,
. Female slavery,
. Selling of females (and males) for monetary gains and dowries,
. Female infanticide (killing baby females),
. Little girls forced into temporary and short-term marriages,
. Divorce and abandonment of spouse and children,
. Multiple marriages through divorce, bigamy (marry one while still married to another), and polygamy/polygyny (having several wives at the same time),
. Various forms of graphically blatant pornography, written and visual,
. Wars, weapons, and industries that cause mass destruction of females, their children, their spouses, their families; and, their places of origin, livelihood, and properties,
. And, other horribly similar corruptions, sins, and devastations.
It was patriarchs and patriarchal societies that created the aforementioned worldwide creations and systems.
And, these creations and belief systems by patriarchs manifested centuries and centuries ago when knowledge was not as abundant and/or accessible. Yet, in our day and time these centuries old creations, systems, beliefs, and behaviors are still being actively promoted, propagated, propagandized, and culminated in our societies worldwide. And, this is mainly the work of the literate and formally educated, which in the world of today is practically worldwide considering the type of world we live in today compared to centuries ago.
It is not right to ever call a female a lower life form or anything like that because of her dress, appearance, age, personality, life circumstances, career choices, etc. It is best to study and know societal, cultural, and historical matters in regards to females before being so judgmental.
Not every female, Sikh or not, shaves --- As a Sikh, I for one do not. And, as a non-Sikh prior to discovering Sikhism, I had ceased shaving except for special occasions, which were rare. Plus, I know others who don't shave either.
It is very important to note that university research studies have shown females tend to
dress for other females in order to fit in with the matriarch system they are surrounded by, not for males. Just as females who breast-feed do so for their babies, not for males. Females tend not to walk around thinking "if I wear this to work, outdoors, grocery shopping, etc. today, males will look at me." Unlike males in regards to their thinking about females and/or sex often within a 24-hr. period, females just do not think about males and sex as steadily and often.
Males tend to dress to blend in with their male counterparts as well. For example, if a male washing a car, working on the yard, or playing ball at a park dress with no shirt and shoes on and wearing only shorts (which looks alot like underwear, mind you), you may find his buddies hanging out with him doing the same thing.
Females are no different than males in this regard, especially when they are teenagers, youth, or single --- They are dressing as their female friends, with their female friends, for their female friends. As females get older and take on more adult-like and mature-like responsibilities and duties, they sort of change in this regard as males do as well.
By the time most males and females reach 60-something, they have acquired certain ideas for dress and behavior reminiscent of their own generation, which of course is out-of-vogue and not quite modern to the younger generation who are under 60-something.
We must also remember and take into consideration other cultures in various countries and cities all over the planet who have their own traditional, community, cultural, and societal ways of dressing for both males and females. Though as I stated so many times, when it comes to religious activities in a place of worship, practically every cultural group knows what and what not to do as well as what and what not to wear. But, when one is not at a place of worship, one is free to wear whatever one desire. Even if that means (by a culture's particular standards) nothing at all as deemed by the countries', cities', provinces', communities', etc. (i.e. - Amazon rain forest) guidelines, laws, beliefs, rules, etc. --- Doesn't matter male or female.
So, the factors to examine are societal, cultural, ethnic, historical, country, and community of origin (where one is born and/or raised), environmental, surroundings, etc. Judging another by your standards without all the facts is un-Godly. Only God truly knows the hearts and minds of the person wearing particular types of clothing. Only God knows how and why a person is where they are in their life. And, only God truly knows who is the real sinner and who is not, who is on the spiritual path and who is not. Sometimes, the real sinner is the one who dresses and plays the part of a 'holy person' while the real 'holy person' is the one who does not dress or play the part of a 'holy person'. That person may appear illiterate, unintelligent, ignorant, and/or uneducated as well as suffering and forced to be in circumstances and situations s/he did not wish to be in. And yet, s/he is the very one who behaves in a Godly manner as well as uses wisdom, common-sense, remember God unceasingly, and turn to God regularly for help and guidance each day and night despite the problems, issues, and/or horrors surrounding them and their lives.
As for dress, try not to judge a book by its cover --- You maybe standing in the presence or company of a 'holy' person who truly loves God, read scriptures, prays regularly, sacrifice a great deal in service to God and others despite their outward appearance, and is a female. God can use anybody to guide and help others.
It is best to look at the scriptures for guidance:
. (Nanak Dev Ji, AGGS, Raag Aasaa p. 473)
"Within a woman, the man is conceived and from a woman he is born. With a woman he is betrothed and married. With a woman, man has friendship and with a woman the system of propagation keeps on going. When one's wife dies, another lady is sought for. It is through a woman that man restraints his passions. Why call her bad, from who are born the Kings? From woman, a woman is born. Without a woman, there can be none. Nanak says, only the One True God is without a woman.
. (Yeshua (Jesus) Ji, Holy Bible, Matthew Chapter 5, verse 28)
"But I say: Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
. (Abdu'l-Bah'a Ji, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Bah'a, p. 302)
"And among the teachings of Bahá'u'lláh is the equality of women and men. The world of humanity has two wings -- One is women and the other men. Not until both wings are equally developed can the bird fly. Should one wing remain weak, flight is impossible. Not until the world of women becomes equal to the world of men in the acquisition of virtues and perfections, can success and prosperity be attained as they ought to be."
We must remember that males do not own females --- We are to stand side-by-side equally. The biological differences between females and males and scriptural guidelines for males to see females as mother, sister, etc. does not warrant or mandate every male to put on 'sheriff badges' and actively monitor the comings and goings of every female. These comings and goings involve clothing, circumstances, situations, choices, conversations, and other actions and activities of females, Sikh and non-Sikh
Our Sikh Satgurus have mandated this to us and made this clear in their writings that are ever present in the Adi/Sri Guru Granth Sahib. In the Bahai Faith, Baha'u'llah stated a male and female were as the wings on a bird --- The bird needs both wings to soar and fly. As Sikhs, we should take this to heart as well and practice it actively and wholeheartely.
So, maybe the next time you look at females in a judgmental and/or hateful manner, with or without sinful and wayward thoughts, even subconsciously, it might be best to thank God for the opportunity and reminder to return to the scriptures, remember Naam, do Simran, listen through meditation, practice sewa (service), and other Godly activities.
Doing these are what is required of those who follow and are of God, instead of blaming, judging, and thinking bad punishing thoughts about and towards Sikh and non-Sikh females. The disrespect and blame is not with and within the females, but with and within those males who continue thinking in an un-Godly manner.
