Gurnihal Singh is 29 years old. He works as a software developer at an accounting firm in the San Francisco Bay Area. He grew up in Punjab and immigrated to the United States at the age of 21. I caught up with him one foggy afternoon at a café in San Francisco overlooking the majestic Golden Gate Bridge to ponder upon the passion in this young Sikh’s life.
Question: Tell me about your younger years, what you remember most about your childhood?
I grew up in a small family, my parents, sister and myself in a fairly big city in Punjab. I went to a predominantly Sikh school. I spent all my summer vacations in my village near Amritsar. I loved running through the green lush fields breathing fresh air. One thing I remember most is waking up in those summer mornings and smelling the burning hay. The thought of that smell transports me back to those wonderful carefree days.
Question: How did Sikhi (Sikh way of life) affect your childhood years?
My parents were a religious kind, read their banis on a daily basis and went to Gurudwara often. I went with them too. I read Sikh history at school and the amazing stories of my ancestors. You know I thought what I saw in my childhood was Sikhi but as years have passed by I have come to realize a distinction between religious vs. spiritual pursuits. A lot of things religious are perceptible from the outside like what people do or how they look but things spiritual have an added dimension, an internal taste if you may. Spiritual living has to do more with feelings of the heart than understanding within the mind. Some of this I got to feel within the sangat of some Sikhs here in the United States.
Question: Tell me more about this religious vs. spiritual feeling.
I read these amazing stories from the past of people whose love for Sikhi and the love for the Guru was so intense that they gave their lives without compromising their beliefs. My grandfather was really into Sikhi and spent most of his time reading the bani and singing the praises of almighty in the words of the Guru. I saw many people who went to the Gurudwara and even did paath (prayer) had other passions in life that were much stronger, at-least that is what I felt. The pursuit of careers, money, and family status overshadowed the religious things most people did in their daily lives.
But then I had the good fortune of meeting a few people besides my grandfather whose primary pursuit in life was the love of the Guru and that was his driving force. I could feel that in everything my grandparents did. Most amazingly their sheer presence was like breathing a whiff of youthful loving energy. They do things others do as well but with a striking balance. I seem to get lost in the present moment when I am in their company, loosing a sense of time.
Question: Have you shifted your pursuits in life after sensing the spiritual side?
Not enough. At some moments in life I have amazing clarity and poise and then in a moment I seem to loose it all. I read Guru’s bani on a daily basis, listen to kirtan and try to be in the sangat of those who are more steadfast in their spiritual pursuits. I find listening and doing kirtan in a sangat as the most uplifting moments in my life. That is the feeling I wish I could carry with me all the time. I try not to work too hard at creating this feeling because sometimes we focus so much on the effort that the experience never materializes.
But that is the Catch 22 in life. How do you make the right amount of effort, in a way an effortless effort to experience the internal joy of life. Sometimes I find myself driven more by material pursuits, chasing after things that I know will not last forever. I guess that is where ‘Kirpa’ comes into place. Earnestly seeking the Guru’s grace without thinking it is one’s sole effort that will make things happen.
It is so hard not to feel that you are not the creator of things in your life.
Question: What advice would you give to a young Sikh today who is bombarded with so much more information, so much more external stimulus in life than say about 15 years ago? How can they attempt to taste the inner joy of life while living with the noise that modern life brings?
Everything that you do in life, listen, read, speak and feel, has an impact on you. It shapes you and makes you into who you are. Now that there is much information floating around us, be it 24 cable television, internet, books etc it is more imperative than ever for us to find those moments in life which can give us a glimpse of the world within.
Be an explorer like all people who explored the inner universe of life by immersing themselves in singing and feeling the loving melodies of Guru’s love. My words might sound strange to many but think about thousands of Sikhs before us who had similar bodies like ours with same experiences. They all wanted to live a healthy while not compromising their hearts love. Try to imagine the desire, the love they must have possessed to face death without fear. Can you die without fear at this very moment? Fear drives us most of the time. Fear for the lose of life, lose of a job, lack of money, lack of respect and so many other things.
If they could conquer that fear and taste the inner love of life then so can you.
Question: Moving to more temporal matters in life, how do you see Sikhs today in terms of exploring the diverse opportunities in life while maintaining their spiritual pursuits?
I don’t want to be too harsh realizing that our community has not had the luxury to live for too long in a continuous period of prosperity. We have collectively lived through one trauma after another be it state oppression under the Mughals, the English and in post-independent India.
But sometimes I wonder given our dynamic spirit and past, where is that adventurous spirit. I mean why don’t I hear about Sikh archeologists, geographers, sociologists, poets, painters, film makers? Maybe if you search around you can find a few but where are the institutions that support and nurture the creative things that the world has to offer. I did not choose to be a software developer because of any passion. It was a necessity. Nothing unusual but we seem to have collectively settled for mediocrity in life.
Question: So how do we break this spell of ‘Mediocrity’?
I have not broken it so I am not the best person to answer this question. I guess someone has to break the spell, experiment with new things and provide young people with inspiration and means to expand their creativity. No community is born with innate copyright on creative endeavors in life.
Question: In conclusion if you had a second chance at childhood would you do things differently? If yes, how?
One thing I would wish for the second time around is to spend a lot more time in the sangat of those walking the spiritual path in earnest and listening to my heart’s passion. Basic necessities are fine but I would not want it to drive my life’s major decisions over my hearts passion. I know it is easier said than done but others have done it, so can I.
Sikhism took on thousands of years of oppressive customs and rituals infusing new life into the downtrodden. We can certainly take on the prisons of our own mind.
